I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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