When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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