ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
