how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
