When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
