I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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