I am puke
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
