btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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