I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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