a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
