I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
