if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
