Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
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I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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