Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
