I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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