This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This is the prime rib incident all over again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
