I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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