How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
