glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
