my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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