he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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