maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
