i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
