Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
