forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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