he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
