Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
