I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
