Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
