did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
