if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My vagina is officially offended.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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