i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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