the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
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Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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