Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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