i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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