Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
