a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
do nipples grow back?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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