so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize