Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
