there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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