woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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