I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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