Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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