5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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