then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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