I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
