I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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