Capitaan dildo arrescate!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
love makes seman taste better
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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