none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fill condoms, not promises.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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