But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
