You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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