you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize