Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
