yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
