Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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