Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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