I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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