I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
