I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
